A Value Proposition

The Ocean Sailing Yacht Meteor in Flaam, Norway.

I'm a terrible salesperson and worse marketeer.

My inclination is to give everyone all the information I think they need and let them make a decision. And that's it. I don't want to sway them or add bias. "This product is good for this, and not so good for that." That's all I want to convey.

And it's in this vein that I write about a new cruise I'm organizing: HIT THE NORTH! - Norway 2025.

Folks told me they want to go to Norway, so we're going to Norway. The land of fjords is threatening to ban cruise ships from its waters, so the time is now. And it's up to me to pick the "right" cruise for us to go on.

And I think I have. I'm going to start promoting it soon. But I ask everyone considering this trip to read the following. And it may be surprising.

The ship I've picked for this voyage is MSC Virtuosa. The ports we'll see in our 7 days are interesting—the ship leaves from Southampton (sorta London), and heads to Lewrick, in Scotland's Shetland Islands, and then sails to Alesund, Norway, proceeds to Flaam the next day, and after a day at sea, visits our last port of Bruges in Belgium before returning to Southampton the next day. It's a great itinerary.

And it's surprisingly affordable. I'm still working out the details, but at this time it looks like the cost is under $2000pp for a balcony cabin with wifi and drinks included. A similar cruise on Celebrity is nearly three times that price.

So what's the problem? I should be huge cheerleader for such a trip!

This is the problem. Or problems.

MSC Virtuosa is the largest ship we've ever sailed on. It's not near the biggest in the word, but at 180,00o tons with a max of near 6,000 passengers, this is a floating mall, and not the type of ship we're used to.

A 300 foot long LED ceiling onboard MSC Virtuosa — This is not Freemont Street. It's on a ship. It's 300' long.

Most of our trips have been on Celebrity with Royal Caribbean coming in a close second. We've done one Holland America and one Costa (my last JREF cruise). I'll ignore land tours and charters for now.

But MSC is no Celebrity.

Celebrity is a "premium" brand of cruise ships—that's the official term. It competes with Princess and Holland America for the "fun, chic, and not all-about-the-kids" market. You expect better food, amenities, and design. More things are included, and you get a sense of privilege just by being on board. That was their brand. Check out this vintage commercial to completely feel the vibe.

But do you know what else isn't Celebrity? CELEBRITY. I've written about this before, but post-pandemic, Celebrity (and many other mass-market brands) have cut back on everything that makes you feel special and now focuses on a "flip 'em upside down and shake every penny out of them" approach. Prices are up, quality is down, and your cruise is a never-ending sales pitch to upgrade this or supplement that. You can read more about it here.

This put me in a real bind, because I couldn't justify charging more, for less. My goal is to underpromise and overdeliver, and it's just not possible with a Celebrity or Royal Caribbean cruise these days. If you're an experienced cruiser, you're likely to be disappointed on these lines.

There's another aspect to this that's important.

If you ask the group what their favorite cruise was, they'll often say "Oh, the Skeptics of the Caribbean one. That was fun." That trip produced a few marriages, including mine.

Some of the crew in St. Thomas. Photo by Pat De Gagne.

If you ask them what the worst ship they were on was, they'll likely say "Costa Fortuna. The ship was garish and the food was laughably bad."

And as you might have guessed, they're the same trip. They had the most fun on the worst ship. And what they might not remember is that the Costa cruise was the cheapest.

MSC Virtuosa is going to be more like Costa Fortuna than any other trip we've been on.

It's a budget ship. It's the Kirkland-brand liquor, or the hash browns at Waffle House. And while it excels at nothing, it's fine and it performs above its price point. In short, it's a good value, and that's what you should be looking for.

On board MSC Virtuosa, we'll find lines, crowds, noise, flashing lights and maybe even some smoke in the casino. None of these are things we want. I want people to be aware of this. Everything is a bit odd. The buffet is unimpressive. Meals are acceptable. And there are up charges for things that you wouldn't think of, like stage shows and in-room movies.

And did I say the ship is big? It's very very big. Long walks to get to your cabin. Trouble finding seats at the most popular bars. And I expect disembarkation will be painful.

Comparison of sizes. — Our ship is considerably larger than anything in this chart.

But it's worth it. The things that made the Costa Fortuna trip everyone's favorite will all be there. People, ports, and price. And that's why I'm going with it.

So do I really think you should come?

If you're looking for interesting ports? Yes. If you're looking to have fun with your friends? Yes. If you want a good value? Yes.

If you're looking for the perfect cruising experience, fine dining, being catered to and a nice, quiet atmosphere, maybe not.

Those are the facts, and I hope they help you make a decision. I'm going (obviously), and I'm looking forward to it. It has all the elements needed to make a memorable experience. I hope you will too, but only if it's for you. If it's not, let's see where the next one goes.